What is Time?

Years ago, I heard, or read, a quote that was along the lines of “Time is just something we have that stops everything from happening at once”. I never knew where the quote came from, and even Googling it today doesn’t really clear that up.

The quote stuck with me, along with a lot of other seemingly useless trivial stuff. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I keep a lot of that type of trivial shit in my head. My question is often “why?”. What is it about certain things that mean they stay with me, and others don’t?

Maggie doesn't care about time!

With this particular quote, it really struck a chord with me, because time seemed so variable. Why is it that a minute spent vegetating on the lounge is so much shorter than a minute spent holding the plank position? Why is it that an hour spent walking along a bush track is so much shorter on the way back than it is on the way there? Why is it that a year when you are 5 years old is so much longer than a year when you are 50 years old?

I think I can answer the last question – my explanation is that a year, as a percentage of your life so far, is HUGE when you are 5, but so very little when you are 50. I don’t really know HOW that explains it, but it feels right.

Having said all that, I know that I’ve spent a lot of emotion over the years beating myself up because I couldn’t do all the things I wanted to/needed to/should do. How many times have I said “I will do all these things once I have more time”?

Making these mug rugs WAS part of the plan this week

Well, let me tell you, retiring DOES NOT mean I have more time! What a surprise! I thought, simply by not having to get up and go to work would mean I would have more time. Ha! The amount of time is just the same – time is NOT variable.

But it still feels like it. This last week has seemingly disappeared. I had plans. I wanted to get things done. And I wanted to enjoy some quiet, relaxing time. But here I am, at the end of the week, and I feel as though all those days just went by without me noticing or paying attention.

As I said in my last post, I try to keep track of what day it is by keeping a diary (of sorts). And this helps me to know that I HAVE actually done things during the week. Now I need to be a bit more flexible, and simply go with the flow if the plans I have get changed, or the things I want to do don’t actually get done. After all, it isn’t as if the time has been wasted.

I see time passing with my growing Grass Tree

I don’t think time can be wasted. Time simply is. It passes. Don’t stress about it, I tell myself. I will try to spend time in a way that makes me happy. But I will still plan my time – I feel much more relaxed if I have a plan. My challenge is to not get too out of shape if that plan doesn’t actually happen.

There is always next week – maybe I’ll have more time then!

What Day is It?

summer in the Blue Mountains - on a mid-week escapade

In talking about how great it is to be able to do mid-week escapades, I didn’t mention that there is, actually, a down side to it – how do you remember what day it is? It is soooo easy to think it is the weekend, when it isn’t, and I have to keep reminding myself of that.

When I was working, there was a lot of structure to my week, as my job was a regular 9-to-5, Monday to Friday, or some variations on that theme, but never involved weekend work. Anything else I did basically had to fit in around my working days.

But once I retired, the basis around which I organised my days went out the window. I still have regular commitments – coffee with friends on Thursday mornings, dinner with other friends on Wednesday nights, drinks with a different group of friends on Sunday evenings,  you get the general idea. But the majority of the time my days have no need to be so structured. I can do the grocery shopping any day I like. I don’t have to fit appointments into my lunch hour.

So without that regular getting up to go to work, weekly meetings, monthly state-of-the-nation-type company updates, and accounting for my time, I’ve found it can be a challenge to remember what day it is.

a way of keeping my brain active

I struggled with this at first. I mean, how bad is it that I don’t know what day it is? What I used to think of people who didn’t know what day it is was not complimentary. Isn’t that a question asked of people when they are testing them for Alzheimer’s Disease?

Is structure to my life important to me? Do I need it so I’m not just floating along without any purpose? It’s a bit scary, because I felt like I was losing control of my life.  

But thinking about this, I decided that no, it isn’t important. I don’t need the structure, or the organisation. In fact, it’s quite liberating not having that structure. As long as I make it to the appointments I do have, the rest can just go with the flow. How do I feel today? That’s what guides my choices, rather than what day it is.

some of the books in my To Read pile

Having said all that, I do like to have a general idea of what day it is, and to be able to look back and know that I've actually done some things. To manage this, instead of implementing anything fancy or structured, Les and I just use a page-a-day diary. At the end of each day, when we are sitting on the lounge, we try to write up a brief summary of our day in that diary. It serves as a way for us to see that yes, we have actually done something instead of “wasting” the day. And it reminds us that today was Saturday!!!

This may sound like I’m in denial, and my brain is turning to mush as a result of not being used – use it or lose it, they say. I don’t believe that. I do use my brain, but for different things than in the past. The things I need to remember now are different. And there is only so much space in my brain, so something had to go. It appears that what day it is was one of those things – you see, most of the time, it doesn’t matter!

Midweek Escapades

Sydney is a very busy place. Nothing is done slowly. Everyone is in a rush. Very few people take the time to stop and smell the roses.



the view looking south from somewhere on the Coogee to Bondi walk

So many times when we were working, we would head off on the weekend for a walk somewhere, only to find that half of Sydney had the same idea. That resulted in a whole heap of stress for me – having to negotiate the crowds even to find a parking space, then to get to where we wanted to go, was like a kind of hell.

But now that we don’t go to work anymore, we aren’t limited to weekends when we want to get out and about. We can wake up on a Thursday, for example, see that the weather is glorious, and decide that yes, today is a great day to go for a walk along the coast somewhere. And we don’t have to take a sickie to do it!

And that is exactly what we did on Thursday this week. Well, we didn’t just wake up and decide right then, because we had been thinking about it since last week, but the fact that the weather was good meant that we could actually go.

the wonderful Sydney traffic

 

When we move to the country, I will miss being able to easily get to the coast to go for a walk. But I definitely won’t miss the Sydney traffic. I don’t think there is any such thing as peak hour anymore – the traffic is bad no matter what time of day. But, once we got to Coogee (the starting point of our walk), we easily found a parking spot right at the start of the walking path. On a weekend, we would probably have had to park a couple of suburbs away!

certainly not crowded here!

The walk we did goes from Coogee to Bondi, a distance of approximately 6km. It is a very popular walk. Many people also use it as a running route. On the weekends, there is a constant push and shove to keep moving. Midweek is a completely different story. There are certainly people around, but I never felt crowded.

And when we got to Bondi, just on lunch time, we had our pick of cafes where we could have a restorative coffee. In fact, we had our pick of tables in our pick of cafes. Bliss!

The walk back to Coogee (yes, another 6km) was also very pleasant. I tend to give Sydney a hard time because I really don’t like living in it, but it really is a beautiful city. There are many walks that can be done in all parts. There are national parks right in the city, and within an easy drive of the city. The harbour is amazing. There is always something on, or something to do.

If you are retired, don’t sit at home all the time. Take the opportunity to get out and about. Midweek escapades are a great way to do that. You can see all those things you’ve always wanted to see, do those things you’ve always wanted to do, and some that you haven’t, and not have to compete with hordes of other people.

Take the time to stop and smell the roses.

Permission to Do Nothing

Although being retired doesn’t mean, to me at least, sitting around doing not very much, it is OK to do pretty much exactly that, every now and then.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been racked with guilt whenever I’ve spent a day not being “productive”. But my personality traits mean that every now and then, I need to have some time out. So, I take those time outs, and then afterwards, feel incredibly guilty about it. I mean, really, I should have been cleaning the house because it is a pig-sty, but instead I sat around and read a book for the day. Or I should have been organising the next girly get-together because we haven’t seen each other for months, but instead I watched a rom-com movie.

a "non-worthy" pursuit - baking melting moments!

All the things that I did I put into one of two categories – worthy pursuits and non-worthy pursuits. Things like reading a book, or watching a movie, or doing a crossword, or making cards (ie all the things I actually enjoy doing) fell into the non-worthy category, or course! And if I did any of the non-worthy pursuits when a worthy pursuit was sitting there waiting to be done, I felt guilty about it.

But, not anymore!! Well, most of the time, anyway. It has taken me a LONG time to realise that there will NEVER be a time when there isn’t a worthy pursuit waiting to be done. And if I don’t do those non-worthy pursuits until there are no more worthy pursuits, I’ll never have any fun!

So, that whole way of thinking has to go out the window. No more “worthy” and “non-worthy”. Now there is “time-constrained” and “non-time-constrained”. By that I mean, things that have a deadline, and those that don’t. That has freed me up to be able to make more choices about how I spend my day, and not feel any guilt about what my choices are.

trashy magazines, courtesy of the doctor's surgery!

Today was one of those days where the planned things just didn’t happen. Bad weather meant my exercise class (Use It or Lose It, a wonderful class lead by Denise and Fred from Wellbeing Fitness) was called off (we do our class outside at Bicentennial Park). And the idea of heading out to visit a friend in hospital was just not going to happen. So, instead of tidying up the spare room, or mopping the floors, or doing the mending, I read a book and some trashy magazines. I pretty much only got off the lounge to make a coffee. Loved it!

The way I see it now, I only have one chance at this life of mine, so I want to enjoy it. And if that means doing pretty much nothing sometimes, then that is exactly what I’ll do. Those other, “worthy” pursuits, I’ll get to them tomorrow J.