Monday 27 May 2013

The Definition of Insanity

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting a different result.” This quote has been attributed to quite a few people, including Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, and Mark Twain. I’ve researched it now, and it seems it has been repeated, in some form or another, by so many people, so often, that it’s now considered all too hard to categorically state who said (or wrote) it first.

But that’s beside the point. I like what it says. I don’t mean in the proper, clinical definition of insanity. I’ve read a few articles by mental health professionals, and they seem to HATE this saying!!! Maybe they are thinking that it can discourage people from trying to form good habits (remember I talked about habits once?), and a cop-out when things get tough.
Anyway, what I mean is how I think it can apply to what we do in our everyday lives. Something has to change if I want to get a different result. That change could be big or small, maybe simply in how I think (did I say “simply”?).

My preferred place to exercise - outside.
Not going to happen in Bathurst in winter!!
Over the years, I’ve joined many gyms. So many times I joined up, thinking I would suddenly acquire the discipline needed to trot off there every day or so to get my required dose of exercise. Each time, I knew that this time it would result in me losing the weight I needed to lose, becoming more toned, increasing my fitness so I could be better at hockey, and above all, being one of those cool people!
Of course that didn’t happen. I think the longest I ever stayed a member of a gym was 2 years. And the longest I ever kept going to the gym was about 18 months – yep, I kept paying for membership of one gym for 6 months after I stopped going! I think the average time I was a member of a gym was less than a year. The shortest was 2 months.

Hmmmm - what can I say? This guy
probably does go to the gym!
Why did I keep on joining gyms? Why couldn’t I keep on using them? And why have I started going to the gym here in Bathurst? Am I insane!!!? Maybe.
I do realise that if I approach the gym the same way this time as I have in the past, I will get the same result. And yes, I’m insane if I think it will be any different. But this time, I’ve acknowledged that my past experience is to NOT persevere, and something has to be different this time if I want to get a different result.

So, this time, I haven’t actually joined the gym. It just happens to be where I go to attend my exercise class. That means that if I don’t go, it doesn’t cost me anything (that could be a bad thing). This time, the class I’ve chosen is made up of people who are there also for the social aspect as well as the physical. That means I feel involved in the class, that I’m noticed, and not just a shadow in the corner. This time, I’m realistic about what I want to get out of the gym. That way, I won’t be disappointed when I don’t become one of those cool people – that’s never going to happen!
This time, am I insane?

Sunday 19 May 2013

What to Do?

Believe it or not, I actually have a list of things I want to write about on this blog. Yes, that’s right, I’ve planned it. The trouble is I’m not keeping to the list! I find that a bit challenging, as I like being able to tick things off my lists – that way I can see that I’ve actually achieved something. And it makes me feel comfortable that I’m going about things in a structured, orderly way.

my list of things to do - on the craft room wall
The difficulty is that I keep on thinking of more things to write about, and I end up writing about what I want to write about at the time, instead of following my (not very) well thought out list. So when I decide that I’m going to write about something NOT on the list, I put it onto the list just so I can tick it off. That lets me pretend that I am still doing things in a structured, orderly way. Sad, really.

cotton, rolled into balls, as per list
But the same thing is happening with all the things I want to do in my retirement. I have a list (of course), but then I think of things that I want to do that aren’t on the list. And for some reason, I think that I can’t do them unless they are on the list. I don’t pretend to understand the way my brain works!

Where am I going with this train of thought? One of the things people worry about when they are going to retire is “what will I do?”, thinking that they won’t have enough to fill up the time, and that they will be bored. That was certainly one of the most common questions I was asked when I told people about my impending retirement. But what I have found is that instead of worrying because I have nothing to do, I’m worrying because I have SO MANY things to do, and I don’t know which ones I SHOULD do. The question is still “what will I do?”, it just has a different spin on it.

things I have on the go - cross-stitch, knitting, cushion cover
none of these are on the list!
This is impacting on my enjoyment of retirement. Back when I wrote about being too busy to be bored, I didn’t realise how it would affect me, that it would become one of the mental challenges I’m facing. And I’m really struggling with having a less rigid structure about my day. I was a bit premature when I said I’d decided that structure wasn’t important to me anymore.  I’m trying to change the habits of a lifetime, here, and that isn’t easy.

Wish me luck!

Monday 13 May 2013

Mid Week Meandering

Sydney is a very busy place. Nothing is done slowly. Everyone is in a rush. Very few people take the time to stop and smell the roses.

I just copied this from the beginning of my post about MidWeek Escapades. The idea of that post was how I love doing things mid week to avoid the crowds.
Well, we have now moved to Bathurst, and we brought with us our habit of taking our little escapades mid week, so on Tuesday last week, we headed off for a day trip to Hill End. It was a lovely drive there. The weather was gloriously sunny and warm, unseasonably so, but I’m not complaining. Although getting into the country way of life, I have to say that the land looks very dry – we are definitely in need of some rain.

Hill End Information Centre
There isn’t much between Bathurst and Hill End, so we just took our time, meandering along the country roads, checking the sheep, cattle, and the amount of water in the dams. We also saw a few different sorts of parrots, some kookaburras, and ducks. No kangaroos, though, if you don’t count the road kill.
Information Centre car park - mid week
Anyway, once we got to Hill End, the first port of call was the Information Centre. It used to be the hospital – hard to imagine a town this small being big enough to have its own hospital. It’s in a lovely old building that has been restored, and is now also a museum.

Imagine my delight when we called into the Information Centre to see so few cars in the car park. The car park is enormous, so imagine what it must be like on the weekends!  I was so glad we had gone during the week.
First lookout of the day

We grabbed the brochure of the town that showed where the various sights were, and how to get to the lookouts. And off we went. At the first lookout, as you can see, we had no competition for space, and didn’t have to wait for ages to get the photo without people in it. Great!
It was the same deal everywhere we went – hardly anyone to get in our way. And we didn’t see anyone at all when we did the historic walk around the old gold diggings.

One problem, though. If we’d wanted to buy anything to eat or drink, or to browse in the shops, we would have been out of luck. Yep, those places were all closed. Maybe something to do with the fact that hardly anyone was in town?
We went back to Hill End on Sunday (oh…my…god – an escapade NOT mid week). We'd invited Mum to stay with us for Mother’s Day, and we took her there for an outing. Again, the drive was lovely, and the weather was gloriously sunny and warm(ish). But what a difference when we went to the Information Centre, and the lookouts. 
Information Centre car park - Sunday
Bird at the lookout - Sunday
As you can see, the crowds were amazing!

We then had lunch at the pub, and coffee at the café across the road. The Olde Wares shop was open to browse through.
Note to self – not everywhere is like Sydney. I think the people in smaller places DO take things a bit slower. And it pays to think carefully about heading off on a Mid Week Meander – consider if maybe it might be better to go when a few more people will be about!

Sunday 5 May 2013

Let's Get Physical - How

A while ago I wrote about Why being physically prepared for retirement was important. I think I might have forgotten a major point, and of course it was my Mum who reminded me of it. Not that she said “I think you’ve forgotten the most important point”, but she DID say something that struck a chord with me.

some pretty flowers from my old neighbourhood
Ever since my Dad died a few years ago, Mum has been suffering terribly from the grief and depression. It has got to the point where she is seriously worried about herself, which in turn only makes it all worse. Then a short time ago, something happened that made her think that all was not lost. She went for a walk.
Yep, that’s all. Even though she didn’t feel like it, she still went out. And instead of going for a short walk, she went so far that she was worried she wouldn’t make it home! It was getting dark, and she started to get a bit worried, so she upped the pace, and instead of just wandering along, she got the old heart going. When she got home, she felt great! Maybe she felt that way because she was so relieved to make it back safely. But I think it was more than that.

Couch Potato!
It is well documented that exercise is a very effective method of dealing with depression. If you can just get yourself off the lounge and out into the big wide world, it does a heap of good. Just ask my Mum! So that is a very important point for Why we need to be physically prepared – it can help combat the mental challenges that retirement can bring.
What happened with Mum also shows one of the Hows of being physically prepared. Walking around the neighbourhood is easy, cheap, and educational – one time when I was walking around my neighbourhood, I encountered a horse grazing in the front yard of a house a couple of streets from me, and this was the inner west of Sydney!

I’ve found walking to be the best way for me to get back into exercising when I’ve been a couch potato for too long. It’s something that can be incorporated into my life without actually calling it exercise. Instead of driving to the fruit and vegie shop, I’d walk. Instead of driving to my appointments, I’d walk. I mean, I wasn’t that busy that I didn’t have the time! All I had to do was plan for the extra time it would take me to walk there and back. There I go again – Planning!!!
I walked HEAPS one day - but I was out there
to take photos, so didn't think of it as
EXERCISE
Other ways to get physical – who else gets home from doing the grocery shopping and tries to unload the bags from the car into the house in as few trips as humanly possible? I have been known to carry 4 shopping bags on each arm, and still manage to open the front door to get into the house, lock the car using the remote, and stagger down the hall to the kitchen. But what’s so important about doing the least number of trips possible? Who was I competing with? Or maybe I was doing strength training?

Basically, I could increase the amount of exercise I got by being sensible and making as many trips as necessary to get the groceries into the house.
So, I found I was more likely to do the exercise if I didn’t think of it as exercise. Weird.

That was Step 1 in the plan for How I was to get physical.
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