The Learning Curve

Thank you to those who kindly answered my plea for comments on my last post. It might seem a small thing, but it really makes a difference to me to know there are people out there, and I’m not talking to myself. So please, if you have any thoughts about what I’ve written, or even on something completely different, take the time to make a comment, just for me!

the apples are coming along nicely
I have no idea what I'm doing!

Different people learn in different ways. I learn best by doing. If I’m just reading about something, chances are I’ll forget it pretty quickly. Learning things by rote also doesn’t really work for me – with the exception of the main rivers along the coast of NSW, from north to south, which for some reason I can still recite all these years after learning them when I was about 10 years old. I also learnt all the train stations from Broken Hill to Sydney Central - it was a good party trick when I was at university, but for some strange reason, I can’t remember them all now. Maybe I just don’t have any reason to anymore.

If I have to use the thing I’m trying to learn, I might actually remember it for next time. But the best way for me to learn something is for me to understand it. If something makes sense to me, and it serves some sort of purpose, then even if I don’t remember all the details, those bits that I don’t remember, I can work out.

the peas are a success!

So, like many people, I have to make my own mistakes. If someone tells me “blah, blah”, and it doesn’t make sense to me, I have to try it myself, just to make sure.

Take, for example, growing tomatoes. I love eating tomatoes. I love the flavour of home-grown tomatoes – they have real flavour, much more so than the ones bought from the supermarket. I love the idea of growing my own tomatoes, so I can just wander out the back and pick one when I want one. I love the idea of being able to snack on cherry tomatoes instead of chocolate – well, maybe that is going a bit too far!


Now I have enough space in the backyard for a vegie patch, I want to grow tomatoes. With lots of help from Les, the vegie patch was set up, and sensible things like peas, carrots, and spinach, planted. But the tomatoes couldn’t go in. Whenever I mentioned tomatoes to a local, all I got was “oh, you can’t put them in yet!”. Maybe if the “when” message had been consistent, I would have just left it at that. But one person said “only after Melbourne Cup Day”. Another person said “not before the end of November”. Yet another person said “only plant them out after the last frost” (how can you know when it is the last frost?). The biggest challenge to my way of thinking was when I was told that it was the aim of every Bathurst gardener to have home-grown tomatoes for Christmas lunch. I’ll show them!

current tomato seedlings in the ground
carrots and peas going great guns in the background

Why shouldn't I be able to grow tomatoes? It had worked for me before. So I planted some seeds, in the greenhouse. They germinated nicely, and were going along OK. Then died. Maybe too early.

So I tried again. This time, they got to 2 sets of leaves (they must have 2 sets of leaves before they can be planted out). Yay! So, out they went. Then died. Still too early.

So I tried again. 2 sets of leaves, out into the vegie patch, and each day I checked what the temperature was going to be overnight, and if a frost was possible, covered them. They lasted about 2 weeks. Then died. Still too early.

seedling at back - plant next week
seedlings at front - hopefully ready to plant in a couple of weeks

I know that I’m still about a week too early (ie before Melbourne Cup Day), but the next set of tomato seedlings are in the ground. I obviously still haven’t learnt my lesson, but I’ve got to learn it myself. If these ones die, and the ones that will be ready to go in after Melbourne Cup Day survive, then next year, the learning curve won’t be so steep.

Cross-Training

No, I’m not talking about exercise. I am a firm believer in regular and varied exercise being an important part of living a healthy life, but the cross-training I’m talking about is concerning just about everything else!

a holiday in Africa - before Les - organised
by me!

Once upon a time I was an independent, self-sufficient, competent person, who capably looked after herself (well, most of the time). I paid all my bills on time. I organised my holidays. I kept my home reasonably neat and tidy (in between visits by the cleaner, but then at least I knew I wasn’t much good at housework, so knew to outsource it). I knew how much money I had in the bank. I could mow the lawn. I painted the inside of my house. I could even put the garbage bins out!

But then along came Les. One thing with sharing my life with someone is we share the various tasks that need doing. When one of us was working and the other wasn’t, the jobs were divided up based on that. For example, the person at home did more of the housework and cooking. But most of the time, we have either both been working, or both been not working, and as a result the separation of duties is more even.  But we don’t each do everything.

We both cook meals, shared fairly evenly. We both clean our home, shared fairly evenly. But over time, a lot of the other jobs have become done by just one of us. This hasn’t been a deliberate thing, but rather because either that one person likes doing that particular thing, or has a lower tolerance for it not being done.

even on holidays, Les does the washing

So now Les looks after all the finances. Les organises our holidays and short breaks. Les tends to put the washing on. Les puts the garbage out. Les mows the lawn. I don’t even have to think about those things. I don’t take them for granted (well, not much, anyway), but I know I don’t have to worry about them.

That’s not a bad thing. Les is very good at doing those things. But what happens if something happens to Les? Could I go back to being an independent, self-sufficient, competent person, who capably looks after herself? The answer is Yes, but not without a considerable struggle.

So when we retired, we thought it would be a good thing to cross-train. I learnt how to pay the bills so the power doesn’t get cut off. I learnt how to reconcile the credit cards. I watched in amazement at how Les researches our holidays. I learnt (the hard way) how the lawn mower choke has been put on backwards, so On means Off. I learnt that even though I know perfectly well when and how to put the garbage out, I will have to put a reminder in my diary so I remember to do it.

some of my cross-training - how to be
safe when working with power tools

I also learnt that there isn’t much that I do that Les doesn’t also do. Les doesn’t know how I organise my clothes, so can’t properly put away all the clothes after they’ve been washed. But that’s probably about it – not a major challenge for him if something happens to me.

Occasionally I get a refresher course in my cross-training, but mostly we have gone back to the same way of doing things. Maybe I should put more effort into practising those skills I don’t use very often, but it is so much easier to just let things go as they are. I'm not sure that's the best thing for Les – but it works pretty well for me!

Coffee, and Rituals

I’m not a coffee snob. I draw the line at International Roast (it’s not really coffee, is it), but other than that, if it’s after 10:30am and I haven’t had a coffee yet, I’ll drink pretty much any kind of coffee. But I do have some preferences.

I like my coffee to be in a proper mug, not one of those takeaway things. I have been known to send a coffee back because I asked for it in a proper mug but it came in a takeaway one. If I have to have a takeaway (because I’m taking it away), I like it to be without a lid. I mean really, since I’m getting a cappuccino, there isn’t a lot of point if most of the creamy top of it, along with all the chocolate sprinkled on top, is stuck to the lid.

I like to have the time to actually enjoy my coffee. Savouring the creamy top and the lovely coffee flavour are a major reason why I love coffee. If I have to rush it, or do something else at the same time, I can’t do it justice.

My morning tea ritual

I like the creamy milk on top of my coffee to be just that – creamy. Not frothy, creamy. Frothy is just all air, and quite disappointing. I’d rather have a thin layer of creamy than a huge pile of frothy.

I like my coffee like Goldilocks does – not too hot, and not too cold, but Just Right! Too cold means I have to drink it faster than I’d like. Too hot means it burns my mouth and I have to wait for it to cool down a bit. Just Right means I can start sipping right away, taking my time to finish it, and not have it go cold before I do.

I like my coffee to have a bit of flavour. Sometimes the smell of the coffee is just wonderful, but the taste is a real let-down.

I like my coffee to come with a spoon. That way, I can spoon the creamy top off and “eat” it first, then sip the rest of the drink. Those paddle-pop stick things do a reasonable job if you just want to stir the coffee, but they just don’t work well as spoons.

We ritually take photos of our Kids, doing naughty things

But these preferences are just me. Most coffee drinkers have their preferences, and I don’t judge them if those preferences are not the same as mine. My Dad, for example, had a simple preference for “ordinary coffee with ordinary milk in it – none of that frothy crap” (that’s a direct quote from him ordering a coffee in a café on the North Shore in Sydney). A good friend always orders hers “extra hot, and if it isn’t hot enough, I’ll send it back”. Another friend always leaves half the cup.

But what do I do at home? Well, that is where the ritual comes in. I didn’t realise how much of a ritual it had become until I was thinking about routine in my day. Morning tea is a significant part of the routine. (Maybe I should call it “morning coffee”?) Coffee in the plunger. Taken to the Viewing Area (the name we have given to the part of our home that looks across the back yard to the farmland). Let sit for just the right amount of time, to brew and cool slightly. Poured into “my” mug. Topped up with creamy milk (Les gave me a milk frother for Christmas). Drinking chocolate sprinkled on top. Creamy milk eaten with a spoon. The remainder of the mug sipped as I chat with Les and look out at the world that is our view.

This ritual calms me. What more need I say?

Our Christmas Ritual - the Santa salt and pepper shakers,
the Christmas bonbons, the sparkling wine

We all have rituals. They help us feel safe. We get a bit tetchy when they are challenged, but that’s just because we are scared, and unsure of how we will cope with change. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as we don’t hang on to those rituals at all costs. We need to know when to let them change, or even let them go.

In the Garden

One advantage of being retired is that I can now spend quality time in the garden.

I have always had a preference for having Australian natives in my garden. One of the reasons is that planting natives, and those that are suited to the conditions here, means that the garden doesn’t need as much tender loving care. Another reason is that I find them just so attractive, diverse, and interesting.

Professional garden designers seem to favour mass planting, but we seem to have ended up with just one of lots of different plants. I like it, and that’s all that matters. We’ve got banksias, callistemons (bottle brushes), lilly pillies, acacias (wattles, both flowering and non-flowering), and any number of different grevilleas. We’ve got native violets and brachyscomes (coastal daisies) for ground covers.  Even though the block of land is quite small, we even managed to put in a eucalyptus tree, that has the most amazing gnarled look at the base of the trunk, and smooth as a baby’s as you go higher up the trunk. I think it’s a mallee of some sort.

They all seem to flower at slightly different times. But even if they didn’t, the different foliage colours and styles means the garden always has something interesting to look at.

So when we move to Bathurst, we will be leaving behind this little oasis for the next people who live here. I will miss our garden. But our new home has a bigger yard, which means more opportunity for plants! It will take some time, and it will be a constantly-changing thing, but we will have a garden to be happy in.

To get ready for the move, we collected seeds from the wattles and one of the grevilleas, and it was my job to try to grow new plants so we could take them with us. We also bought some seeds for plants we would like to have. My favourite Australian plant is the Grass Tree (Xanthorrhoea), so of course that was one.


See the little seedlings on the left!

And we are being adventurous and trying to grow some waratahs. Wish us luck!



But our new garden won’t just be decorative. It already has some apple trees, planted by the people who built the home we are moving to. They apparently already produce fruit – and I love apples! We will be adding a vegetable patch, but I’m not planning exactly what we will have yet, until we get there and I see where I can put it and how big it can be.

But I do know that our miniature peach will be coming with us. And there will be at least one tomato plant during summer, as I pretty much eat tomatoes every day. Both of us find cucumbers disgusting, so we won’t have them (pity, because I’m told they are really easy to grow).

I’m looking forward to planning the vegetable patch. I’m looking forward to growing the Australian native plants. I’m looking forward to spending quality time in our new garden.

What do you like about your garden?

Just Buy Another One!

I drink water a lot during the day. It’s thirst-quenching and good for me – and I quite like it J During summer, we keep water in the fridge in glass bottles, and fill up from there.

The trouble is, the little seals on the swing top deteriorate over time and make the bottle impossible to use unless you stand it upright in the fridge. But I’m not that keen on that because the water takes on that stale taste – not so nice.

But the shops that sell the bottles don’t sell replacement seals. Why not? Because the bottles themselves only cost a couple of dollars to buy, so you just buy a new bottle, they tell me. Surprisingly, I got the same response from friends when I asked them if they knew where to buy new seals. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

I’m really trying to reduce the amount of waste in our household, and buying new water bottles just because the current ones need new seals seems to be a huge waste to me. So, it took a bit of research on the internet, but eventually I found them. Yay!  Only $0.30 each if I collect them from the shop. I had to drive to a suburb about 30mins away to get them, but it was the only place I could find where I didn’t have to buy a pack of 100 seals, or pay $10 to have them delivered.

And the place I finally found the seals? It was a brewing supplies shop!

Do other people simply buy new bottles? Is there somewhere easy to get them that I didn’t think of? What do you do?