It's a Real Challenge

One of the things mentioned often when telling people how to manage retirement and getting older is to keep your mind active. Challenge your brain, they say. Don’t become mental couch potato. Just because you are no longer working doesn’t mean your mind goes on a permanent holiday.

what I'm learning now - how to knit using
double pointed needles

In fact, they (the people who think they know) say that it is just as important to keep your brain active as it is to keep your body active. It is a good way to keep you both interested in life and an interesting person, and at the same time stave off depression and dementia. Check out this BrainyApp from Alzheimer’s Australia.

There are many different lists of things to do to keep the brain active, but some items are on ALL those lists:

• Learn a language
• Exercise
• Learn a musical instrument
• Do crosswords, or other such brain games
• Be creative

Well, not trying to be negative (actually, thinking positive is another item that is on many lists), but for some people, these just aren’t going to happen. Maybe these are just excuses, but this is my story.

the Serbian textbooks and notepad,
along with books about other things
(creative things) on the To Learn list

I had all good intentions of learning a language. I enjoy words, discovering the stories about words, and learning how other languages work, so it seemed a good idea. But which language to learn? English is coming pretty easily to me these days,so not that language, although sometimes I just can’t find the word I really want to use. I studied German for my HSC so try something different. I had a brief flirtation with Spanish when I had a holiday in Mexico, so again, I wanted something different. I know! Go for something where not only the words are foreign, but so is the script, to make it even more of a challenge for me – Serbian!

I found an online resource where I could progress through structured lessons, and hear the words being spoken. I got some books to help. I even knew a person who spoke Serbian fluently. I set myself a goal of learning at least one new verb (fully conjugated) each week. I made heaps of notes in my notepad (the paper kind). I took my notepad with me everywhere, and got some strange looks as I was practising words on the train. All good so far.

But it just wasn’t sticking in my brain. Gradually I did less and less, until eventually I stopped altogether. It just wasn’t going to happen for me. My excuses:

• I didn’t have enough opportunities to practise with other, real, people
• I chose a language that had too many new things to learn (words and script)
• I chose a language that isn’t very common in Australia, and particularly in regional Australia
• Whilst I enjoyed learning a new language, I didn’t enjoy it ENOUGH – well not enough for me to try to overcome the problems I was having and make it a priority

These days, the words that have stuck are the ones you would expect – hello, please, and cheers!

the exercise bike is a bit dusty

the victim - testing the glove for size -
double pointed needles have NOT beaten me!

Maybe I will get back to it and increase my vocabulary a bit more, and at least re-learn to count. Then I will be able to work my brain and my body when I’m counting repetitions during my exercise. Yep, there’s a story there too – stay tuned!

It's All About Balance

serious balance was required on this walk

I don’t have very good balance. If I’m out bushwalking and have to use a log or something similar to cross a watercourse, I’m very nervous. I’ve been known to sit down on it and move across it, very slowly, on my bottom.

If I’m wearing shoes with high heels, I’m very nervous. I sprained my ankle once, walking along a footpath in thongs, because I overbalanced.

Whenever I travel in public transport, if there’s standing room only, I have to make sure I am close to something I can hold onto firmly. Over the years I’ve had more than one situation where I’ve fallen (or almost) onto or into someone, and not all of those were because of sudden movements of the bus or train. It amazes me when I see people standing in the trains or buses, and not holding on for grim death like I have to. How do they do it?

It also amazes me that when I was at school, one of my favourite sports was gymnastics. Yup, I even did work on the beam! I do remember falling off a fair bit, but I didn’t get laughed out of the team.

is there such as thing as too many hats? ask Phryne Fisher!
at the exhibition of her costumes

But, apparently it is all about practice. For several years now, I’ve been doing exercise classes where they very deliberately include elements to work on balance. And they have made a difference. I am still not confident that I’m not going to wobble and fall off that log over the creek, but I do feel that I won’t embarrass myself on the train.

And it’s the same thing when it comes to work-life balance. Actually, I don’t like that term – never have. When I was working, it felt like it was saying that my life was only outside of work, and since I spent so much time at work, that was pretty miserable. And now that I’m not working, how can I have balance if I don’t have work? So I like to think of it as balance in life.

is there such a thing as
a balanced Manly supporter?

Anyway, anyone who is working, or has worked, has heard about how important it is to keep a balance to their life (the work-life balance).  Many work-places have policies in place to address this, although I’m not sure how well they are implemented. And I think some companies don’t really mean it. It is a well-discussed problem – we know we need to do something about it.

But retiring doesn’t mean I can forget about balance. It’s still possible to have an unbalanced life when I’m not working.  See? I still need to think of it as balance to my life, not work-life balance.

I have to keep balance in my diet – not too much chocolate, not too little chocolate, but just the right amount. I have to keep balance in my activity – include exercise as well as vegetating on the lounge. I have to have balance in the amount of time for myself as well as everyone else I think I have to look after. I have to balance those meaningful pursuits with trivial pursuits. I have to balance chores with things I do just for the hell of it.

the amount of chocolate is Just Right!

It takes practice to keep the balance in my life. If I stop practising, it gets harder and harder to keep that chocolate consumption at the “just right” level. Actually, I don’t think I will ever get the balance “just right”. But I’ll keep trying. Retirement isn’t all fun and games, but it also isn’t all just doing things that have to be done, or should be done.

It’s all about balance, and with practice, I will get better at it. As long as I’m enjoying it, that’s the main thing!

It's No Holiday

near Lithgow

Well, actually, it is kind of like a holiday – retirement, that is. It all depends on how you define a holiday.

Of course I researched this – what is the definition of a holiday? The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) says it is “an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling”. Wikipedia says it is “a day set aside by custom or by law on which normal activities, especially business or work, are suspended or reduced”. If I go by the OED, then my retirement certainly is a holiday, because it most definitely is an extended period of leisure and recreation, even though it isn’t always away from home or travelling. But if I go by Wikipedia, it isn’t.

All the time I was working, I had this vague idea that when I retired, it would be like I was on holiday all the time. And according to the OED, I am. But it doesn’t feel the same, and I think it’s because my idea of what a holiday is has changed. Well, maybe it hasn’t changed so much as it has been clarified.

one of the waterfalls on our most recent holiday
near Leura

I have definitely come down on the side of Wikipedia. A holiday is really a break from doing whatever it is I do every day. When you are working, a holiday is when you don’t go to work, and do something else instead. But just because I don’t go to work doesn’t mean I don’t have normal activities that I occasionally need a break from. And that, to me, is a holiday.

Holidays are a total necessity. When I was working, I wasn’t one of these people who accumulated an enormous annual leave balance, or got a visit from the company accountant telling me to “at least put in a leave form, so we can pretend you will go on holidays”. I usually had to check I had a balance at all before I could go on my next holiday! In some cases, I think I actually owed leave days to the company. I really needed my holidays.

some steps on a walk we DIDN'T do
near Leura

I think I used to get into a real rut, heading off to work each day, doing the same things each day, week, month. The enjoyment wears off a bit. Taking holidays meant I could recharge my batteries and go back to work and “real life” with a renewed enthusiasm for the job. The time off was also a chance to take a step back and look at my working life to see if it was what I wanted, and if anything needed changing.

Holidays were also a chance to see things, go places, and do things that I couldn’t see, go to or do when I was at home (or work).

Well, guess what – it’s exactly the same in retirement. No matter how much I enjoy doing the things I do in my “real life”, I need a holiday from it sometimes. The days, weeks, months would all blur in together and become years, and whilst I wouldn’t dislike it, I wouldn’t be enjoying it as much.

Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely enjoy being retired, and am not looking for sympathy. I really am at the beginning of “an extended period of leisure and recreation” (see OED definition of “holiday” above).

the results from my most recent "real life" activities

But, my advice is to make sure any retirement planning includes holidays – real, specific times designated as holidays, when you do something different to the normal activities of your retirement. Retirement is not just the rest of your life being one long holiday – it can be so much more! 

Kenny Rogers - Part II

Now where was I before I was so rudely interrupted by life? Ah, yes, that good ol’ Kenny Rogers song The Gambler. It has more wise words than just on letting go. I also like:

Oh to be as flexible as a cat!

Now ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.

It’s not possible to keep everything. Just look at those people you see on A Current Affair, where the neighbours are at their wits’ end because the hoarding is totally out of control, has taken over the whole house, and is threatening to take over the whole suburb. It takes effort to properly look after the things you keep. So it’s worth it to let things go, or throw them away, so the things that are important, the things that are kept, are kept in good condition.

the tree is actually growing up
through the truck

When I stopped working, the things I missed most were the people. I was with these people for a significant proportion of my life, so of course I was going to miss them. But did I want to keep them? Were they just work friends? Had they become just friends – no adjective needed? Could they become just friends if I wanted them to?

Yep, I had to work out what, or rather who, to throw away, and who to keep. That sounds pretty harsh, but in reality, it usually isn’t a case of throwing away, but rather letting them fade away. It’s a natural progression. It happens all the time. At first it’s regular lunches to catch up. Then it’s coffee every now and then. Then it’s the occasional invitation to a group lunch. Then it’s the “we must catch up some time for coffee/drinks/lunch” when you cross paths in the street. Then before you know it, it’s the 20 year reunion!

So it’s nothing to feel guilty about if I don’t keep in contact with all those people I miss. It is enormously important, though, to make the effort with the people I know I want to keep. That has become a tiny little bit more difficult since we moved to Bathurst, but it is worth the effort.

finally finished my mosaic pot
maybe 18 months after starting
- all 4 sides are different

I’m not the kind of person who has lots of friends. I have a smaller number of friends, but I like to think that they are good ones – ones I can count on. Some of these friends I met at jobs I have had in the past, and I have been lucky enough to keep them. Reflecting on it now, I can see that we are actually better friends now than when we worked together. I think this is because when we worked together, we didn’t have to put in much effort. When we no longer worked together, we had to put in the effort to stay connected, find out what things we had in common apart from work, and really learn about each other.

And it is important to have friends – to keep them even when circumstances change, like leaving the workforce. Friends help me stay grounded (they will tell me when I’m being dill), and they help me still feel like a real person, instead of a boring old retiree! And those friends who are still in the workforce themselves help me to keep in touch with the world (it’s very easy to lose that when you are retired), and at the same time remind me of why I retired.

these carrots are close friends!
maybe I should have planted them
further apart?

After 3 years of retirement, I pretty much know now which friends I’m keeping. There aren’t that many of them, but they mean a lot to me. Like Kenny says, they are the secret to surviving.

These are "real" friends I'm talking about. If I was talking about Facebook friends – that’s a whole other story!

On Letting Go

I’m not really a Kenny Rogers kind of girl (or should that be “kind o’ gal”?). I know I moved to the country, but that doesn’t mean my taste in music has changed. There is one of his songs, though, that speaks to me – The Gambler. The particular lines I'm talking about are:

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, 

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

random photo 1
a creek bed near Silverton NSW

By the way, in researching this, I discovered that Kenny didn’t actually write this song. It was written by that powerhouse of country music, Don Schlitz. Don Who? If you don’t know him from his country songs (I certainly didn’t), you may recognise another song he wrote – “When You Say Nothing At All”, most recently popular in its Ronan Keating incarnation. I quite like that song, but I find it to be a real earworm.

Back on track, after that little side-trip, and I’m talking about knowing when to let go. It sounds simple, but it isn’t. How do you know?

random photo 2
Sturt's Desert Pea, Broken Hill NSW

That was what it was like for me with retirement. As I’ve mentioned before, when I stopped working, I was very reluctant to call it retirement. It made me feel better to just say that I’d stopped working.  I didn’t know if I was ready to retire. Part of it was also a reluctance to let go. Work had been such a big part of my life for so long, it was hard to let it go. So I let go gradually.

I worked part-time for a while, and that suited me really well. It gave me the time I needed to experience what it was like not working, and at the same time kept me connected to the work environment. There wasn’t the sudden loss of connections with people and activities that I’d known for so long. It gave me the opportunity to start building up the non-work connections and activities that I would need when I was not working.

Then, the Big Change – stopping work altogether! It was scary, yet exciting, and I wasn’t sure how I would go. So I STILL didn’t really let go. I kept some (not all) of the work people connections. Some friends really didn’t believe that I would stay retired, and I didn’t disabuse them of that, because I didn’t really know if I believed it either.

random photo 3
lavender in Kangaroo Valley NSW

After some time, I was ready to include work back into my retirement. That may sound strange, but many people partially retire, and I thought that would be good for me. So I did a bit of work. I enjoyed it, mostly, but I noticed that whilst I was still doing the best job I could, and I hope that was good enough for those I was working for, I didn't have the same enthusiasm for it as before.

That work dried up, and it was probably a good thing. I knew I had really let go by my reaction when I went to catch up with a (working) friend. There were all these people sitting around having meetings in the coffee shop, deep in earnest discussion. And I just knew that I couldn't do that and feel I was giving it my best. If I couldn't give it my best, I couldn't do it.

That was me finding out when to fold ‘em. Everyone is different. Some people die at the table! I walked away gradually. For some, they need to run. At some point in the retirement process, everyone needs to let go of work. Trying to work out what kind of letting go is best for you can be hard. One thing I’ve learnt, though, is that, whilst you need to give the option you choose your absolute best shot, it doesn’t have to be the final decision – you can change your mind!

Yep, Kenny, I finally folded, and walked away. I don’t regret it. I did it in the way that worked for me. 

random photo 4
a beach somewhere

Fitting In

I’m back. I didn’t mean to be gone for so long. Then when I realised just how long it had been, it became embarrassing. I won’t go into all the reasons why, as that would just be boring. BUT, I have realised that, despite all my grand ideals of wanting to write a blog just for me, I do crave feedback. So, IWBNI (“it would be nice if” – don’t know if that’s an abbreviation used by the texting generation, but this oldie was using it about 20 years ago!) anyone who reads this blog would leave a comment, at least every now and then, just so I know I’m reaching people.

Plattie and Cuddles
made by me for the craft shop

Now on to the subject at hand. Fitting in.

We humans are a complicated lot. Pretty much all of us go looking for similar people, so we can feel part of the group. I think it is a survival thing, from way back in the mists of time, when if you were different, you could be cast out of the safety of the group. Survival outside the group was tough.

But we also want to be seen as different. I know that I want to be recognised as uniquely me. Whilst this seems like a contradiction, I think it is more like a delicate balancing act.

When we moved to Bathurst, I was conscious of the fact that I wanted to fit in, but I also wanted to not fit in so well that I became invisible. And I wanted to fit in with a diverse group of people. I didn’t want to only connect with retired people over 50. I also wanted to connect with younger people, people who are different to me.

how good are the apricots looking!

One of the good things about working was that I was engaging with (those are words from my work life) lots of different people. It was challenging at times, but it was also enriching. It is more difficult to find this sort of thing when retired, and even more so by being in a new town.  

I’ve found a lovely group of people through playing tennis. They are all women, they are all over 60, and they are all not working, but they come from a wide range of backgrounds and have varied opinions on things. Conversation around the morning tea table is active and entertaining. In fact, conversation on the tennis court can be so active and entertaining that we forget what the score is. Lucky none of us are playing for sheep stations!



cross-stitch Christmas decorations
also made by me for the craft shop

Speaking of sheep stations, since starting with the tennis girls, I’ve learnt more about sheep farming than I did in all the years I spent in Parkes. And last week at tennis as I stepped over the lamb tails on the ground as I walked to the tennis court, I realised it was the first time I’d ever seen that.

So back on the subject of fitting in, I’m fairly happy with my progress so far.  As well as the tennis girls, I’ve also found a group of people with an interest in craft, so that area of my

from the social pages
my niece and me at THE local coffee shop

interests is covered.

And I’ve made it to the social pages of the local paper! The tennis girls are so jealous – I’ve been here 5 minutes and am in the social pages, whilst some of them have been here for decades (or from birth, in one case) and still haven’t made it.

Now I just have to find a way to expand the circle so it includes some more different people. That might not be so easy. My hairdresser told me the other day that one of her other clients, also new to town, has found Bathurst to be a difficult town to make good social friends in. I’ll have to put in a real effort, then. I’m not sure how, both from the point of view of finding the people and finding the time. But watch this space!

Junk Food for My Brain

just some of the magazines I used to read

My name is Joy, and I’m a Woman’s Day reader. I first started reading the magazine as light relief on the bus on the way home from work. I thought it was a harmless pastime, but before I knew it, I found I had to buy it every week. I was in denial for quite some time, and even told people that I only bought the magazine for the crosswords and sudokus. But deep down, I knew I was addicted, and loved finding out about who was cheating on who, and who had put on (or lost) enormous amounts of weight, and who was only 28 and having a relationship with their long-lost 60-year-old father. And like all addictions, it didn’t just affect me – if not for people like me, creating a market for paparazzi photos, Posh and Becks could be living a normal life (yeah, right), a whole generation of people wouldn’t be scarred from seeing those photos of Fergie getting her toes sucked, and Diana might still be alive!

I should learn to chill out like Maggie

There you go, there should be a regular meeting for people like me, so we can share our stories of addiction to women’s magazines. Until recently, I hadn’t bought a Woman’s Day since just after we moved to Bathurst. Whilst my life has been busy, and it feels like I just don’t have enough time to do all the things I want to do, it must be the right kind of busy for me, and I must have enough time to just chill out, because I haven’t felt the need to feed my addiction.

When I was working, my brain had enough stimulation that in my down time, I needed something that didn’t require me to think too hard. It was like junk food for my brain, when I read the magazines. And the trivial crap in those magazines was just up my alley – my brain retains all that sort of stuff (Les hates playing Trivial Pursuit with me). Just like real junk food, brain junk food is empty calories – of no real benefit, but you feel good at the time.

a recent visitor -
this has absolutely no relevance to this post!

In my reading prior to retiring, it was said many times that it is important to keep exercising the brain. So since I stopped working, I’ve consciously tried to do just that. I have puzzle books so I can do a crossword, Sudoku, logic puzzle, or any of a number of other brain exercises, whenever I want to. Just recently, I discovered crossword puzzles that are mathematical, where I have to solve mathematical puzzles to find the answers, and they have to fit into a grid the same way as words have to fit into a normal crossword grid – brilliant fun! 

So I’ve been doing all the right things, and feeling pretty good about it all. But then, a week or so ago, I relapsed. Yup, I bought a Woman’s Day. And I hate myself for it. It feels like I’ve gone back to my old bad habits.

if you look carefully, you can see the green of
the pea shooting - my vegie garden project

But it was also educational. I can now see that there are limits to what I can do and continue to live the life I want to live. I can look back at what’s been happening for the last month or so, and learn that it was too much. I can see how out of balance it was, and the effect it has on me.

I can also learn to live with the fact that, just as I will always be addicted to chocolate, I will always be addicted to Woman’s Day. Is it really such a bad thing? I don’t think so. I allow myself the pleasure of a chocolate hit every now and then, and it is only a problem if I eat the whole block instead of just a few pieces. So with the magazine, I’ll only worry if I find myself considering getting a subscription (yes, I have done that in the past).

Retired, or Just Not Working

When I told my boss that I was retiring, he told me that I couldn’t retire, because I was too young! I wonder how much that was because he is just a little bit older than me? Anyway, it was a fairly common response when I told people. I wonder if the response would have been different if I’d just said that I was giving up work?

breakfast on our short break to
Bingle Tree Retreat

It seems that there is an assumption of age being a factor when we use the “R” word. If someone in their 30s stopped working and had no intention of going back to paid employment, would they say they had retired? Probably not, but I think the only difference between me and that person in their 30s is about 20 years.

At first, I really didn’t want to have those age-related connotations applied to me, so I fought against using the term “retirement”. I mean, I don’t think I’m old, and I certainly didn’t stop working because of my age. But then I realised that I hadn’t actually just stopped working, I’d done more than that, so why not call it “retirement” and see what happens.

one of the guests at the Taronga Zoo Christmas Lunch
- because we are retired, we can now attend!

Back when I was talking about Being Prepared, I said how there is a difference between wanting to retire, and just not wanting to work. It was as I was thinking about that difference that I realised I was retiring. So I suppose I should try to explain what I mean.

Many people these days have had breaks in their working lives. I’ve done it a number of times, to travel, as a semi-enforced break after being made redundant from a job (boy, that was DEFINITELY a case of “not working”), as a much-needed “time out” after a particularly challenging job. There are many other reasons, such as caring for children or the elderly, studying, or taking the time to devote to a passion. But none of these seem to be retirement. What is the difference?


a travel pillow, made for my niece, who is
off travelling to Europe

One of the differences, for me, is that I have absolutely no intention of going back to paid employment. I will be doing some volunteer work, so I may be working, but I will still be retired. Even if I do get some payment for something I do in the future (eg if I ever earn any money from the things I make), I will still consider myself to be retired. That’s a bit contradictory, I suppose, but it makes sense to me.

Another difference is that I’m doing so much more than not working. It was as I was going through all my reasons for not wanting to go to work that I saw it was time to retire. It wasn’t that I hated work – I didn’t. It was just that having to go to work each day was getting in the way of me doing things I wanted to do more.

winding some cotton into balls so I can
knit it into who knows what

If I was just not working, I would probably be bored to distraction, and not know what to do with myself. When I was thinking about retiring, I made sure I wasn’t doing it just because I didn’t want to work. If that was the case, once I’d gotten over the novelty of not going to work each day, what then?

So, I consider myself to be retired. It suits me. I’m sure it doesn’t suit everyone. If you are thinking of retiring, and it’s because you don’t like working, there is more thinking to be done. Think about what you are going to do if you aren’t working. If you end up just not working, you may well end up not liking not working! Then what?

What to Do?

Believe it or not, I actually have a list of things I want to write about on this blog. Yes, that’s right, I’ve planned it. The trouble is I’m not keeping to the list! I find that a bit challenging, as I like being able to tick things off my lists – that way I can see that I’ve actually achieved something. And it makes me feel comfortable that I’m going about things in a structured, orderly way.

my list of things to do - on the craft room wall

The difficulty is that I keep on thinking of more things to write about, and I end up writing about what I want to write about at the time, instead of following my (not very) well thought out list. So when I decide that I’m going to write about something NOT on the list, I put it onto the list just so I can tick it off. That lets me pretend that I am still doing things in a structured, orderly way. Sad, really.

cotton, rolled into balls, as per list

But the same thing is happening with all the things I want to do in my retirement. I have a list (of course), but then I think of things that I want to do that aren’t on the list. And for some reason, I think that I can’t do them unless they are on the list. I don’t pretend to understand the way my brain works!

Where am I going with this train of thought? One of the things people worry about when they are going to retire is “what will I do?”, thinking that they won’t have enough to fill up the time, and that they will be bored. That was certainly one of the most common questions I was asked when I told people about my impending retirement. But what I have found is that instead of worrying because I have nothing to do, I’m worrying because I have SO MANY things to do, and I don’t know which ones I SHOULD do. The question is still “what will I do?”, it just has a different spin on it.

things I have on the go - cross-stitch, knitting, cushion cover
none of these are on the list!

This is impacting on my enjoyment of retirement. Back when I wrote about being too busy to be bored, I didn’t realise how it would affect me, that it would become one of the mental challenges I’m facing. And I’m really struggling with having a less rigid structure about my day. I was a bit premature when I said I’d decided that structure wasn’t important to me anymore.  I’m trying to change the habits of a lifetime, here, and that isn’t easy.

Wish me luck!

Let's Get Physical - How

A while ago I wrote about Why being physically prepared for retirement was important. I think I might have forgotten a major point, and of course it was my Mum who reminded me of it. Not that she said “I think you’ve forgotten the most important point”, but she DID say something that struck a chord with me.

some pretty flowers from my old neighbourhood

Ever since my Dad died a few years ago, Mum has been suffering terribly from the grief and depression. It has got to the point where she is seriously worried about herself, which in turn only makes it all worse. Then a short time ago, something happened that made her think that all was not lost. She went for a walk.

Yep, that’s all. Even though she didn’t feel like it, she still went out. And instead of going for a short walk, she went so far that she was worried she wouldn’t make it home! It was getting dark, and she started to get a bit worried, so she upped the pace, and instead of just wandering along, she got the old heart going. When she got home, she felt great! Maybe she felt that way because she was so relieved to make it back safely. But I think it was more than that.

Couch Potato!

It is well documented that exercise is a very effective method of dealing with depression. If you can just get yourself off the lounge and out into the big wide world, it does a heap of good. Just ask my Mum! So that is a very important point for Why we need to be physically prepared – it can help combat the mental challenges that retirement can bring.

What happened with Mum also shows one of the Hows of being physically prepared. Walking around the neighbourhood is easy, cheap, and educational – one time when I was walking around my neighbourhood, I encountered a horse grazing in the front yard of a house a couple of streets from me, and this was the inner west of Sydney!

I’ve found walking to be the best way for me to get back into exercising when I’ve been a couch potato for too long. It’s something that can be incorporated into my life without actually calling it exercise. Instead of driving to the fruit and vegie shop, I’d walk. Instead of driving to my appointments, I’d walk. I mean, I wasn’t that busy that I didn’t have the time! All I had to do was plan for the extra time it would take me to walk there and back. There I go again – Planning!!!

I walked HEAPS one day - but I was out there
to take photos, so didn't think of it as
EXERCISE

Other ways to get physical – who else gets home from doing the grocery shopping and tries to unload the bags from the car into the house in as few trips as humanly possible? I have been known to carry 4 shopping bags on each arm, and still manage to open the front door to get into the house, lock the car using the remote, and stagger down the hall to the kitchen. But what’s so important about doing the least number of trips possible? Who was I competing with? Or maybe I was doing strength training?

Basically, I could increase the amount of exercise I got by being sensible and making as many trips as necessary to get the groceries into the house.

So, I found I was more likely to do the exercise if I didn’t think of it as exercise. Weird.

That was Step 1 in the plan for How I was to get physical.

Ups and Downs

This week has had its up and downs, so I’m feeling a bit unsettled at the moment. Actually, if I’m honest, I’m feeling a little lost, or disconnected. Let me try to explain.

part of my routine -
a necessary part of my day

We are trying to move to Bathurst, away from the rush, and anonymity, and anger, and crush, and isolation of the city. We have been trying to do this for some time, but have had a few obstacles in our way. Each time we make a little progress, something else happens to slow things down. And this past week was another of those where things didn’t happen when we thought they would. So that was a Down.

Because a planned day-trip up to Bathurst had to be delayed, we both needed to get out and DO something. So Les quickly found a lovely long bushwalk in the Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park that we could do. He is a wonderful person, because this bushwalk has an easy side-track that goes to a kiosk that sells cappuccino! So that was an Up.

see all the lovely grass trees!

 

 

 

 

The weather for the day we walked was fine – in fact it was quite warm. We did the hard part of the walk first – up hill from Bobbin Head to the Sphinx Monument. Then we could do the easy part at the end – along the creek back down to the marina at Bobbin Head, and the coffee shop.



It is hard to believe that such walks exist within the Sydney Metropolitan Area, because when you are doing them, you feel just so far from the city. My favourite plants (xanthorrhoea, or grass trees) were everywhere, some even with spikes.

lonely and late flannel flower

And I even spied a lonely flannel flower, which is my favourite flower – it is VERY late in the season. So this walk was definitely an Up.

Then my best friend had to cancel out of coffee this week, as she wasn’t well. And she is heading off to visit her Mum for a couple of weeks, which means that I won’t see her for some time. That was a Down.

But I still caught up for coffee with another friend. That was an Up.

And my regular Saturday morning exercise group was cancelled because the trainers had to go to Queensland for a funeral. That was a Down.


a goanna we surprised along the track

So my week was all about plans and routines going out the window. None of these were earth-shattering, and you would think being retired would mean that small things like these would be nothing to worry about – I mean, I’m retired, so just chill! But I think I may have mentioned (once or twice?) that I like plans and routines. Somehow they make me feel comfortable, and connected to the world. I try to go with the flow when the plans and routines don’t happen, but sometimes that is just beyond me.

One of the things about retirement is that to a large extent, I can do what I want, when I want. In theory, this could mean not having any plans at all, and just being spontaneous! But I’ve learnt that I don’t feel happy like that. I’m happier with structure. So rather than trying to force myself into being something I’m not, I’m learning to work with my little quirks. Now all I have to do is learn how to not get all bent out of shape when the plans and routines go missing in action.

And remember that one size definitely does NOT fit all when it comes to retirement. MY retirement needs to suit ME. And if the plans and routines don’t work out, I’ll feel lost, but I’ll still be here, and next week will be better (I hope).

What Day is It?

summer in the Blue Mountains - on a mid-week escapade

In talking about how great it is to be able to do mid-week escapades, I didn’t mention that there is, actually, a down side to it – how do you remember what day it is? It is soooo easy to think it is the weekend, when it isn’t, and I have to keep reminding myself of that.

When I was working, there was a lot of structure to my week, as my job was a regular 9-to-5, Monday to Friday, or some variations on that theme, but never involved weekend work. Anything else I did basically had to fit in around my working days.

But once I retired, the basis around which I organised my days went out the window. I still have regular commitments – coffee with friends on Thursday mornings, dinner with other friends on Wednesday nights, drinks with a different group of friends on Sunday evenings,  you get the general idea. But the majority of the time my days have no need to be so structured. I can do the grocery shopping any day I like. I don’t have to fit appointments into my lunch hour.

So without that regular getting up to go to work, weekly meetings, monthly state-of-the-nation-type company updates, and accounting for my time, I’ve found it can be a challenge to remember what day it is.

a way of keeping my brain active

I struggled with this at first. I mean, how bad is it that I don’t know what day it is? What I used to think of people who didn’t know what day it is was not complimentary. Isn’t that a question asked of people when they are testing them for Alzheimer’s Disease?

Is structure to my life important to me? Do I need it so I’m not just floating along without any purpose? It’s a bit scary, because I felt like I was losing control of my life.  

But thinking about this, I decided that no, it isn’t important. I don’t need the structure, or the organisation. In fact, it’s quite liberating not having that structure. As long as I make it to the appointments I do have, the rest can just go with the flow. How do I feel today? That’s what guides my choices, rather than what day it is.

some of the books in my To Read pile

Having said all that, I do like to have a general idea of what day it is, and to be able to look back and know that I've actually done some things. To manage this, instead of implementing anything fancy or structured, Les and I just use a page-a-day diary. At the end of each day, when we are sitting on the lounge, we try to write up a brief summary of our day in that diary. It serves as a way for us to see that yes, we have actually done something instead of “wasting” the day. And it reminds us that today was Saturday!!!

This may sound like I’m in denial, and my brain is turning to mush as a result of not being used – use it or lose it, they say. I don’t believe that. I do use my brain, but for different things than in the past. The things I need to remember now are different. And there is only so much space in my brain, so something had to go. It appears that what day it is was one of those things – you see, most of the time, it doesn’t matter!